SLEEPLESS IN LONDON

NEW WEBSITE!!!!

2009-02-10T16:13:00.001Z

I HAVE MOVED TO ORSII.COM

PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU CHANGE YOUR FEEDS AND ALL YOUR BOOKMARKS, LINKS, ETC.

SEE YOU THERE!

MUCH LOVE

ORSI

Until Further Notice...

2009-02-03T22:43:00.002Z

No Love

2009-02-03T22:13:00.001Z

Fed up

2009-02-03T22:07:00.000Z

FUCK THIS! I cant take it no more.

the end.

Snowed in

2009-02-02T08:37:00.001Z

WOHOOO! I want to go out and play! Office is closed due to the weather.

Stealing in the name of love

2009-02-01T15:36:00.002Z

WARNING: This song is highly addictive!
Read the review of this great 7" single (Steam by Laura Vane & The Vipertones) at JusLikeMusic. I cant sit still when I listen to it! Hope youre having a nice weekend. Im still ill so I feel rather sorry for myself. But now I need to do someting I have been avoiding for way too long, clean.

Till Adel och Ivar

2009-02-01T14:06:00.002Z

As requested, I have put together a little playlist for you here. I hope it works... if not give me a shout. Im updating it as I go along. (special thanks to Gav, because I stole some tracks for our joint playlist)

Whole lotta love

2009-01-31T23:04:00.000Z

Im ill

2009-01-31T13:33:00.001Z

SO Im binging on some good ol' music.

You dont know what you got til its gone

2009-01-29T23:20:00.002Z

I'll never forget the first time I heard this song. I was about maybe 11-12? Went and spent all my little pocket money on the record The Velvet Rope. I would sit and listen to this track on repeat for days! Came across the tune today by accident, but I love it as much as I did back then. Man, those were the days...

The things you do to me

2009-01-29T08:52:00.002Z

Im still ill, still overworking, still need a good nights sleep. Meeting up with Nick tonight to discuss next weekends video shoot. Must admit that I am rather excited. However, I need to re-load my batteries somehow this weekend. Pay day tomorrow. I cannot believe I am earning LESS money with my pay rise. Its a fucking disgrace! Not happy. Time for work.

This Is The Thing

2009-01-28T14:45:00.000Z

The limit to your love

2009-01-28T07:52:00.001Z

Sleep to dream

2009-01-26T22:29:00.001Z

Secret heart come out and share it
This loneliness, few can bear it
Could it have something to do with
Admitting that you just can't go through it alone?

This very secret
That you're trying to conceal
Is the very same one
That you're dying to reveal
Go tell him how you feel
This very secret heart

Listen to the goddamn song!

2009-01-25T18:14:00.001Z

An amazing weekend!

2009-01-25T16:56:00.005Z

790

2009-01-22T08:27:00.002Z

Im off to Bristol today. The excitement is on top! I had some ideas of how to take this blog to the next level. But after some consideration I might just stop blogging all together. Unless you can give me a good reason to why I shouldnt. You have until Sunday my friends. Hope you have a nice day! xxx

MY FIRST OFFICIAL PODCAST!

2009-01-19T13:39:00.004Z

So I have some very exciting news my friends! As I mentioned this morning, I have been working on a mix/podcast, and I am delighted to announce that I have had the honour of being chosen as this months guest podcast on Jus Like Music! So do yourselves a favour and check it out here!

Move on up!

2009-01-19T06:04:00.003Z

Perfect song to start a rainy horrible Monday morning like today! Weekend was nice and relaxed. Had a lovely afternoon with Neil on Saturday, spent the rest of the weekend organising my music and making my first official podcast. Indeed ladies and gentlemen, you read correctly! So keep your eyes and ears open, and I shall let you know when it is up and available. A very busy week this week. A LOT of meetings, and I am heading over to Bristol on Thursday to get my groove on, not to mention the World Wide Awards on Saturday evening! Can't wait to see Gilles and the rest of the Brownswood crew. And of course, to see Jazzanova live!!! and Stacy Epps, and Dorian Concept, and Quiet Village (to mention a few!) and the Havanna Club room (will they ever beat my home made Mojito's from last years Bristol trip??) Photos are of course promised, so you might want to have a look on Sunday for all the gossip and after-weekend chit chat. I hope you all have had a wonderful weekend. xxx

After the pain comes...

2009-01-16T06:55:00.002Z

Rain? Oh well, the pains from yesterday have now eased. Feel excited about seeing Neil and Cata tonight, and to have Neil here this weekend. And I just downloaded the new podcast from juslikemusic, so far it sounds amazing, so I cant wait to sit and listen on the bus. I hope you all have a lovely weekend! I shall be back on Sunday evening. Enjoy the track below, its a great start to the weekend, I promise! xxx

A great way to start the weekend

2009-01-16T06:53:00.000Z

Good stuff

2009-01-15T08:37:00.001Z

Not the best quality video, however, some good memories to this song.

Gav

2009-01-14T23:37:00.002Z

- I am indeed a very selfless person, you if anybody should know that, and a life without the people I love would be a very empty and lonely life to live. It would be a kind of life that I wouldn't wish for anybody to have, not even my "enemies". But at the same time, we enter and leave this life on our own, and I would never want to leave this life feeling or thinking that I never found myself good enough, or worthy enough, living for. If I dont find myself worthy enough to live for, how could I ever except somebody else to feel that way about me? I would believe that the quote is related to what I said in the beginning of this answer, but to say that a life is only worth living if its for others does not add up in my books. If anything, it should be a combination of both, and not one or the other. Hence why it upset me and why I disagree.

Something to sleep to

2009-01-14T23:20:00.001Z

Drained

2009-01-14T22:22:00.003Z

Its been a long, loooooong day. A lot of work plus a lot on my mind is not a good combination. Have been trying to get some more work done since I got home, but with no further luck. My stomach went kind of crazy around mid-day and only got worse through out the day. Im really starting to feel like I am running out of options. But I guess I just have to try to stick with this diet thing and hope for the better. Although I know that the diet is only a small part of the problem. Things like stress and emotions effect me as well, so I need to come up with a way of somehow stop uncontentiously stressing and winding myself up. And in some way try to control my emotions and mood swings, because they are having a really negative effect on my stomach and on my health in general.

Yes, many things going on in my head the moment. The plan has been made and set out for 2009, now I just need to figure out how I should prioritise. I am already feeling guilty about decisions I promised myself to keep for the new year, and we are only in the second week. I guess only time can tell how it all will turn out. I am thinking about maybe taking a break from everything and everyone. However, the calender is too packed for the rest of the month and the beginning of next month. But in the current situation that I am in, I see no other possibility. I guess I will have to have another sit-down session with myself and figure something out.

Oh, and something that has been annoying me since I was told I need to feature it on the Battlefront website is this quote by Albert Einstein
"Only a life lived for others is worth living"
I dont know why, but it really pissed me off. It is a load of bullshit, at least to a certain degree. I mean, you should be living your life for yourself! Im getting more and more angry every time I read or think about that quote. I think I could write an entire essay on why I completely disagree with it. But, unfortunately, I need to go to bed as I have a very early morning tomorrow and a brainstorming session to prepare for. Sweet dreams!

It just so happens...

2009-01-14T14:52:00.003Z

that I hate being right sometimes. Going from a shit weekend, to a rather ok Monday, to a not too bad Tuesday, that could have ended in excitement, but somehow ended in tears, to a week that continues, but that now has, slowly but surely, resulted in an absolute crap Wednesday. I wonder what the rest of the week will bring. (Hopefully Neil will bring some positive vibes from London!)

Hm...

2009-01-14T14:45:00.001Z

I feel like breakin' shit

2009-01-13T07:49:00.001Z

Song of the day...
(which cannot be embedded, I do apologise)

Not impressed

2009-01-13T07:19:00.002Z

I hit my poor little knee where I had already bruised it badly :( The pain is indescribable! Made myself the weakest decaf coffee I have ever had. Its worse than british instant coffee. But its better than nothing at all I guess. Still tired, should have a shower and maybe get to work a bit early. Maybe... Not in the mood for anything today. Especially when the weather cant make up its fucking mind!

To answer Gorilla Bananas...

2009-01-12T22:45:00.001Z

No, those berries are not, under any circumstances (except for the drunken one below) edible.

Breakdown

2009-01-12T22:31:00.003Z

I was a bad girl today... Was meant to start this whole stomach diet thing. But, by 3pm I was going crazy. So, I... had a cup of coffee! Im sorry! I might as well say it like it is. You can take away my sugar, you can take away my bread & pasta, my alcohol and even all the dairy in the world including my beloved cheese. But you can not, under any circumstances, take away my coffee from one day to another! I just,..., cant do it. I CANT FUNCTION! You got to let me have some enjoyment in life! And since Im not getting laid, or anywhere near for that matter, at least let me have a cup of coffee a day. That's all I ask for! Or come to think of it, why should I even feel bad or apologise!? There are a lot worse things I could do. Besides, I'd like to see people try to live without sugar/yeast/gluten/wheat, and then we can begin discussing the coffee.

Anyways, all in all, an ok day. Need to start doing my morning&evening therapy/pep talk sessions. I might write YES WE CAN on my wall. Haha. Sorry, Im exhausted. Cant wait to see Neil this weekend! And head off to Bristol next week. And now, I cant wait to head off to bed. Night night!

Pinky and the Brain

2009-01-12T22:25:00.003Z

Cant sleep...

2009-01-12T02:00:00.002Z

...im in too much pain. I hate it when it comes out of nowhere and for no reason that I can pinpoint. Stupid stomach! Let the well-being begin! If Im a nasty & grumpy bitch from now on, blame it on the "No sugar/wheat/yeast/gluten/coffee" regime that will start tomorrow. I already apologise for my upcoming bad mood and temper. But you know what? I am fucking tired of living my life in pain, so I guess we will just have to suffer through it together haha.

Im having mood swings

2009-01-11T22:56:00.000Z

For mom

2009-01-11T21:11:00.001Z

You don't need to call me, I know he looks hot. Just thought you might enjoy seeing how well he is doing. x

The Sun Aint Shining No More

2009-01-11T18:26:00.000Z

Bad day

2009-01-11T14:42:00.001Z

I feel horrible! If you need me, you can reach me in bed under my duvet.

Cooold!

2009-01-09T07:45:00.002Z

Somebody has turned off the heating in the house. I should hit them with a stick. Wanted to go and have a shower, when I remembered that I washed all my towels last night, and kind of forgot to take them out and dry them before I went to bed. Bugger. Think I'll go and take them out now. Still annoyed though. Smelly day at work (kind of). Any exciting plans for the weekend peeps? I have work, clean, rent and music on my list. In other words, not very exciting, nothing mind blowing. However, might be hooking up with Nick (Emanative) tonight. That should be fun. Have a lovely day my darlings!

Never been kissed

2009-01-08T08:03:00.003Z

Ok, title might be a slight lie. But I miss kissing. I wrote a long entry about this issue and why I miss it last night, but blogger wouldnt let me post the picture or the text. So now, you can just look at the picture, and know, that I, officially, miss kissing. A lot. Shitdamnfuck!

Too tired to think

2009-01-07T06:39:00.002Z

I want to sleep. Went to bed before 11pm, didnt help. Feel like shit. Pain in stomach, and head, and now also my knee. Yeah, I fell off the curb, out on the road, and straight on my face yesterday. Hurt my right knee really badly. Its all black/purple and very painful. I need a hug and a cuddle.

Fallling back into old patterns

2009-01-06T00:07:00.002Z

Something is not right, and hasnt been right for about a month now. Im afraid my illness is getting worse again. Or at least I think so... Maybe its just my imagination, but Im starting to feel like I did when I was at my worst. All the signs are there, and it is safe to say that Im slightly freaking out about it. And what do I usually do when I freak out? I plan. And for that I will need a big calender to put up on my wall, and a new year planner. And I think I might be in need of some therapy, but the kind where I sit down and have a serious talk with myself and try to figure out things, come up with some answers and solutions, evaluate situations, and come up with conclusions. In order words, a plan.

A late recap of 2008

2009-01-05T08:00:00.001Z

New day, new week, and a new year.

I remember going to see a psychic who told me 2008 would be a life changing year for me. And looking back on it now, it sure was.

January was filled with exams and studying, but ended with a big bang and laughter and a pink princess dress and the lusting after Mr Pete Dyson, one of the best lecturers my university will ever have the pleasure to have.

In February I had a slight mental breakdown due to confusion and fear for the future, but it was also the month I went to Nottingham for the first time and visited my dear friend David.

March was a weird month... I went home to Sweden for a job interview, had a fight and broke up with my boyfriend who I was living with at the time. Found myself all alone and completely broken for Easter. The highlight was however that I ended up with a job interview at Brownswood Recordings by some crazy miracle.

April was the month I got to know my uni mates a bit better. It was also the month where I went to my first Brownswood event, and of course, my crazy Bristol trip to visit Neil and Ina, where we were joined by Wiktor and LOTS of home made Mojitos, and where I had the pleasure to get to know John, aka Powercut, who is one of the nicest people ever!

Whilst the month of May was filled with crazy amount of studying, it was also the month I had the pleasure to meet and see one of today's most talented and amazing artists, Mr José James. I also went to see the incredible street art/graffiti exhibition with Tuite, and I finished my exams and headed off to one of the most amazing birthday parties to date, Nat's 21st, which had a BOUNCY CASTLE and a lot of laughter and silliness.

In June, I ran away to Sweden to work and get away from the London craziness. Tried to figure out my next move, didn't succeed very well. Got a crazy visit from my ex who flew over to Sweden from London. I also got to know a boy a bit better who I became very fond of. Flew back to London where I had a brilliant experience seeing Erykah Badu at the Carling Academy down in Brixton.

I had one of the best times of my life in July when I flew down to the Worldwide Festival in Seté with the Brownswood crew. Saw some amazing artists, got to meet and hang out with one of my favorite bands, managed to get a tan, did crazy dancing on the beach, swam in the ocean, became very good friends with some Austrian boys (Lukas I miss you!), ate a lot of French cheese, and came back to London to rock out at the Death Jazz night where Soil & PIMP Sessions stole the show and left us all wanting more.

Turned 22 in August, never really liked my birthdays. Was joined by Lukas who made everything better. Had a visit from the boy, was annoyed we couldnt really be together. Tried to find a job, got more and more depressed. Freaked out about money and house situations, lost my wallet. Had another personal crisis and mental breakdown.

Early autumn and September didnt really come with any solutions. Managed to sort the living situation. Was still trying to find a job, got more and more depressed. Was finally given a break and got a job. Things started to look a bit brighter.

Started working much more in October. Had another visit from the boy. Felt very loved up and happy for the first time in a long time. Started working at Bar Rumba at the Brownswood club night. Gained a very good and close friend in a slightly strange way. Got screwed over by my university.

Worked even more in November, people started to get worried. I was happy because I felt needed. Cried when Obama won. Continued working but felt like I couldnt deal with certain things in my life.

Then winter really came with December, I finally got to hang out with Gavin. Cut off all my hair (almost). Worked even more, gained some new friends, went to my first office christmas party. Was given a promotion. Missed a lot of people. Spent Christmas with my mum. Worked a bit more. And then it was over...

Rang in the new year with some close friends. Ran away for 2 days. Spent time with Nat. Got very drunk, laughed a lot, lost the feeling in my feet (stupid cold weather!). And now it is safe to say, that officially, 2009 in my head, starts today.

New job (at the same place) and some goals and plans that need to be put in immediate action so they can be achieved before 2010.

Best Christmas present ever

2009-01-04T22:03:00.003Z

I got this amazing 7" for Christmas. Yes, its heart shaped. Yes, its red. Yes, it has 2 great tracks on it by Mayer Hawthorne & The County. Yes, its a limited edition with only 1000 copies pressed. And yes, you can have a look and listen below.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T19:11:00.002Z

Ive been rubbish at updating... I have like a million drafts now that I need to finish off and publish. But unfortunately, since my internet has been down for the past week, they will have to wait as I am on my way to a mini adventure this weekend. Oh yes, I shall finally reunite with Nata-poo :D And Im so excited that I feel a bit sick haha. But I might get some writing done on the way there and back. Will have 6 hours all together to kill.

I hope you had a great new years! Thanks to all my beloved friends who rang in the new year with me, and much love to the rest of you who spent it somewhere else. I miss you all so much, you cant even begin to imagine. Its about time you come and visit me! Have a great weekend! xxx

Loving you is easy because you're beautiful

2008-12-29T14:24:00.000Z

Great podcast

2008-12-26T01:50:00.006Z

You should check it out and download this amazing podcast here. And make sure that you visit the Myspace page.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T13:04:00.003Z

Hello my lovelies!

Im sorry for not blogging for a while, but I have been so busy and now my dearest mother is visiting, and so yeah, I've been putting it off for a little while.

However, I have been working on some posts behind the scenes that I will post next week. It will be a recap/evaluation of 2008, some goals and thoughts about 2009, and a general one with some bits and pieces that Ive been thinking about.

Im making a traditional English Christmas dinner today. I cooked the turkey yesterday, and I was mighty impressed with the result! Imagine me, making roast turkey, with home made stuffing, roast potatoes and veggies, home made gravy, red cabbage, christmas pudding, mince pies, you name it! Im turning into a proper housewife!

Woke up and worked half day today, now I shall cook the remaining stuff, have some Christmas dinner with mom, and then I shall take her out for a "London by night" extravaganza.

I hope you are enjoying Christmas. Thank you for all your lovely messages and texts, I shall reply to them now. I love and miss you all so much! So I am sending massive Christmas hugs and kisses and tons of love to all of you. xxx

Neil - The Womanizer

2008-12-18T16:03:00.003Z

I must say, you look amazing Neil! Please come to London and take me out dancing. All I want for Christmas, is you! ;) Miss you loads.

Shit Damn Muthafucka

2008-12-16T07:01:00.001Z

Im ill!!! Goddamnit! I have no time for this right now... NOT a happy bunny!

Dead

2008-12-15T19:52:00.002Z

I am so tired! Almost fell asleep on the bus home. And I still have work left to do that I should be getting on with. I think Im coming down with a cold as well... Not the best start to a new week I must admit. Im feeling very weak and Ive been having a headache and stomach ache practically the whole day. I just want comfy clothes and bed. Don't have a lot more to say really, Im just in a crappy mood at the moment. (sigh)

For mom

2008-12-12T07:09:00.004Z

Just 3 pictures from our office Christmas Party that we had on wednesday... will post a proper update soonish, but Ive been a bit busy and I have no time now to write something long. However, as my dear mother requested:

My bosses... Chris, Joe, Will and Charlie

Me and my new haircut, plus Chris

My fav picture from the evening, of me and Ben. This was half way through the evening, but obviously, we were pretty drunk already.

Great News!!

2008-12-09T23:23:00.004Z

So, it was confirmed today... I have officially received 2 promotions at work!

1. I have been made the official website editor for the Battlefront project.

And if that wasn't enough to make me excited:

2. I have also been offered a full-time permanent job at the creative digital agency where I have been working the past 2½ months! And its not just any job, I will be working with the Accounts Director, making me something like a junior accounts manager (I dont remember the "official" title I'd have...). My job will involve things like taking care of clients, helping the directors writing pitches and scopes, creative development and some project management.

I am over the moon and so happy I dont know what to do with myself. And I have some exciting ideas/projects/jobs music wise on my mind that I need to work on/figure out and hopefully make a reality in the new year. Oh yes, I might be a work-a-holic, but at least Im starting to see the benefits.

I wont share the music ideas/projects/jobs with you quite yet, I still need to figure out a lot of things, but I promise that I will reveal everything in due time. Now bedtime! Much love!

A declaration of Love

2008-12-09T07:09:00.003Z

Good morning!
How are we feeling today? Im excited today, or a little anyway. Might have some "big news" when I get home today, but I dont want to blow my own horn just quite yet, so you'll will have to tune in tonight and see what it is.

To reassure some people, like Anna, I won't be spending Christmas alone. My mother is flying over during the holidays and we will spend Christmas together, here in my little house in London. It won't be the same as spending Christmas at home, but just because it is different doesnt mean that its bad. I guess thats what happens when you get a "proper" job. I could have easily come home for Christmas, but to be honest with all of you, I am tired of spending my "holiday money" on trips to Sweden, because I know what it would be like. A couple of days, when youre nothing but stressed because you have the obligation to spend time and see your family + friends of the family. And then you have a million friends that you havent seen for ages that you really want to see, and usually feel guilty about not being able to see all of them. So the entire trip end up being this massive stressful thing, and this time around, I just cant bring myself to spend my very few days off being stressed and rushing around. Might sound selfish, but I havent been on a "real" holiday for ages. And instead of spending my money and time on going to Malmö, I rather spend it on travelling to other places, "discovering the world" and what not.

Oh and just to make it perfectly clear, just because I have my "own life" now, doesnt mean that you play a smaller role in it. I might have moved on in certain aspects of my life, but I could never grow out of our friendship. You are and always will be one of my very best friends. And yes, we are kind of VERY BAD at keeping touch, but I know you read this, and I hope you know that I think of you oh so very often. My mom sent me a little package the other day and included the MUF article you were in. And everybody who visits me sees my big wall covered in pictures, where you take up quite a lot of space. So we might be countries apart, but youre always in my heart and on my mind. And I love you and cherish your friendship dearly.

Haha, this entry became a bit longer than expected. I wanted to say some other things as well, but time has run out and I need to get ready. But I shall be back tonight, hopefully with good and very exciting news. Have a nice day people!

10 days of silence

2008-12-08T07:50:00.003Z

Hello my lovelies!
I do apologies for the lack of updating, but my internet connection has been all over the place the past week or so. And of course, the TV series aired last week, so I was a busy little bee and had other engagements besides sitting by my computer and geeking it up. Just found this little neat article in the Guardian about Battlefront. Made a little tear fall down my eyes.

Was reading on Catas blog about getting into the Christmas spirit and all that. I havent started feeling it yet. We have no decorations, I havent even celebrated advent, or really noticed that it is already December.

To just quickly respond to what Anna wrote, and in case anybody else is wondering, I am not coming home for Christmas this year Im afraid... Im far too busy and I dont want to come home for just a few days and stress through my days off. However, I do miss you like crazy and I cant believe I havent seen you for so many months.

I have a million things I want to write about, but I need to get ready for work. Im working Bar Rumba tonight, so if anybody wants to come down, give me a shout! Hope you had a nice weekend, and have a great day!

PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO GUYS!!!

2008-11-28T11:00:00.005Z

This is what I have been working so hard for the past months!

These are some of the amazing campaigners that I have been working with and helping. Their Battlefront Campaigns will be shown in the first part of the TV series that air next week on Channel 4. Have a look at the video, head over to our website, check out their campaigns, and get involved! It doesnt matter where you live. Its only together that we can make this world a better place. So go go go!

Dreaming of the weekend

2008-11-28T00:41:00.001Z

Its funny how fast things change

2008-11-26T22:08:00.000Z

I just want to disappear right now.

Still at work...

2008-11-26T18:51:00.003Z

Oh god! I am exhausted. Im waiting for some videos to be uploaded so thought I'd drop by quickly and say hello :) Ive had (or having) the most stressful day ever! I have a feeling it will be another night of getting home and collapsing on my bed. However, I have some very exciting news. But I won't share them with you yet, as its not 100% sure yet (more like 99.9% haha) Will attend a meeting next week hopefully and then I shall tell you all about it :D

By the way, our elevator dropped 5 floors today, WITH ME IN IT! It was a very horrible experience and I screamed like a little baby, which resulted in that all people from every single floor rushed out to check what had happened... Its always me these things happens to.

Right, need to get back to work! Oh! And if you guys live in the UK, look out for the Battlefront TV Trailers tonight! They will be shown between Simpsons, Hollyoaks and Depserate Housewives! So Exciting!!

Addicitve!

2008-11-26T11:40:00.001Z

But oh so good!

Work song

2008-11-26T06:56:00.002Z

I got home yesterday and literally passed out on my bed. Woke up 2 hours later in great confusion, and decided to continue sleeping. And it somewhat helped. I feel like I have more energy today, although my stomach still hurts. Might crawl back into bed for another 30 minutes or so. Plan my day a little in my head. Its going to be a long one. A lot of things to sort out and we have the steering meeting with channel 4 tomorrow, which means I also need to prepare the marketing reports and what not. Oh well, as I said to Cata yesterday, I truly love my job. And I hope that the project and the individual campaigns really take off now when it will be shown on TV. Yes, I am working my ass off at the moment, and its not easy when being in pain since it makes me extra tired. But I feel its worth it. However, I can understand if most of you dont understand this, and to you it might look like Im over-working myself. But dont worry about me, Im a big girl, and Ive grown so much as a person since starting with this project, not to mention all the million new things I have learnt, that I cant feel anything else than blessed and happy that I, once again, was so very lucky. Have a wonderful day my lovelies!

Too tired to think

2008-11-25T07:14:00.003Z

Oh God, I feel like lying down and dying. Ive been in constant pain the past 3 days now with my bloody stomach. And these 2 following weeks will be so hectic since the TV series air next week on Monday, and the promos on TV start tomorrow. So look out for Battlefront on Channel 4 starting tomorrow, and please tune in at 11.30am Mon-Fri next week (or catch it on 4oD). Hopefully I'll manage to stay sane and, fingers crossed, not get ill.

So yes, if there is a lack of updates, it might just be that Im too goddamn busy to even know where my head is, or that my internet is being a little bitch. Its been acting up lately, which is highly frustrated!

Anyways, off to work, but first shower. Have a great day!

Falling back in Love again

2008-11-23T18:03:00.003Z

I just finished off my third Sunday Mix (I dont like that word... Mix. They're not really, just a gathering of songs I like, but anyway) It took me a bit longer than expected. Not the actual choices of songs, but the "mixing" part. Im not 100% sure if I got all of it right. There are some places where, it just doesnt sound the way I want it to. I just cant find the time to actually explore and discover the software Im using so I know what tools to use for the different things Im trying to achieve. I can hear everything in my head, and I know how it should sound. At least according to my own standards and personal opinion. But Im not sure if I manage to create it in practise. Not yet anyways... Oh well, I guess I just need to continue making them and hopefully they will be getting better with time.

Nevertheless, the love for music is back, hitting me stronger than it has for a very long time. And it feels fucking amazing. Oh how I have missed this feeling! It is truly the best feeling in the world. Even if that might sound a bit weird... But when you have a connection and a love so strong to something, it feels like a part of you is missing when you can't feel its presence in your life as much as you used to. Don't know if you guys can relate...

Anyways, I have spent way too much time on getting it finished. So now I shall get back to the real world and do all the things that need to be done! I hope youve had a great weekend!

Sweeter than honey

2008-11-23T14:09:00.004Z

This is Winston.
He is a cutie-pie and the thought of his silly little self always makes me giggle. I mean, LOOK AT HIM! My heart melts... How could you ever say no to him? Absolutely beautiful.

Chillaxing

2008-11-23T00:12:00.002Z

Another Saturday almost gone. Got home about an hour ago. Im so full of food it hurts to move. But I had a wonderful time with Jason. Felt nice to go somewhere that wasn't work or home. And actually spend some time with a friend and be social! Other than cooking and chilling with Jason, I didnt really do much today.

I woke up and headed over to pay my rent. The weather was ice cold, but the sun was shining, so I went for a walk in the park. Sat down on a bench and did some thinking about things and issues that have been on my mind lately. Came up with some conclusions, some decisions, plan of actions, you know the drill...

Tomorrow will be spent at home. Doing a bit of cleaning, A LOT of washing, making my Sunday "mix" (which is not a mix really... but never mind), working, and finish off a guest blog that Im writing (more details on that when its done).

Cata - sorry about yesterday! My phone died so I couldnt call you after your text.

And now, I reckon I have some well deserved sleep to catch up on. I hope youre having a good weekend my lovelies!

Something nice to start the day with

2008-11-21T02:02:00.000Z

Sorry for all the music/videos below...

2008-11-20T21:36:00.002Z

but I felt like sharing some tunes. Most of you never take the time to listen/watch the videos I post, which is a shame. They are meant to inspire you to go and get hold of some good music (unless you hate the song of course...)Oh well, I hope at least one or two of you appreciate them. You know, you could always leave a comment if you like a track... Anyways, Im off to bed. Hope you guys had a great day.

Absence Heard, Presence Felt

2008-11-20T21:33:00.001Z

More than you'll ever know

2008-11-20T21:31:00.000Z

If You Stayed Over

2008-11-20T21:30:00.000Z

Thinking about you

2008-11-20T21:18:00.000Z

Im exhausted...

2008-11-20T20:53:00.002Z

Fancy a cuddle?

For the hell of it

2008-11-20T08:40:00.003Z

Why not, here, have an after picture as well. Not much difference as you can tell. But save it and keep it safe. Wont be putting up any more pictures for a while. Now I need to run for my bus, Im late. x

I was asked...

2008-11-20T07:25:00.002Z

if I could put up a "natural" picture of myself. Do I look fake otherwise? Hmmm... Anyways, here I am, as natural as it gets. No make-up, haven't fixed my hair, comfy clothes, and an exhausted & tired expression. Enjoy. (hahaha) I would put up an "after" picture, but truth is, I dont think much will change today, apart from maybe throwing on some more "appropriate" clothes for work. Im tired. And this twitch in my eye is driving me crazy! ARGH! Although the week is almost over (yet again) and tomorrow I shall (hopefully) enjoy the sweet sweet sounds of The Matthew Herbert Big Band, Eska, and my darling José James at the London Jazz festival (wohoo!) I hope you have a lovely day my darlings.

Some time to breath

2008-11-18T21:14:00.002Z

Stepped in through the front door 23 minutes ago. Threw together some food in five, that I swallowed in one. Im exhausted but have no time for it. Early start tomorrow... Too early. But it's ok, at least Im needed, which feels good, in a strange, "over-working-myself" type of way haha. Anyways, I would love to share everything and nothing with you, but I have some more work to finish off before I collapse in my bed. I hope youre having a nice start to the week!

This is for the things I don't say enough...

2008-11-17T19:38:00.001Z

Rainy Mondays

2008-11-17T07:20:00.002Z

Every single Monday past 4 weeks have = rain!! WHY!? Why can't I have a nice and sunny start to my week?! Goddamnit! Im not impressed... And I couldnt fall asleep last night, and when I finally did, I dreamt I was a goose, who was hunted by a fox, and I woke up 5 times during the approx 4-5 hours I managed to sleep. (Feel sorry for me) I dont know what to wear, my eyes are puffy, and all the good feelings from yesterday seem gone. (well, almost all of them...) I guess I cant have it all. Time to find an outfit and try to make this puffy-ness go down a little so I look somewhat bearable to look at. Have a great day my darlings!

God Bless America?

2008-11-16T22:31:00.002Z

So, I just noticed that I have gained a lot of readers from the states... Its either that or somebody I know (like Anna) has been checking in while being over there. However, if that's not the case and there's actually people checking in from the other side of the Atlantic, Hello! How very kind of you to drop by! It means a lot to me, even if you don't come by here very often. Feel free to give me a shout, it always makes my day when people say Hi. Much love to you all, and I sincerely mean that, from the bottom of my heart.

Perfect Make Out Music

2008-11-16T21:15:00.002Z

So, Ive hoovered and dusted. All that I have left to do now is my washing. But I cant fit any more clothes in my temporary wardrobe at the moment, so Im thinking of maybe leaving the washing another day or two... Feels nice to finally have a fresh and clean room. Have lit some candles, and Im sitting in my comfy clothes, drinking some Yogi tea, and listening to the best podcast on the planet. I took a long hot shower earlier, washed my hair, painted my nails, so safe to say that Im slightly glowing. Oh well, new week tomorrow, hopefully a good one. Im missing the sun. Ok, enough ramblings. Hope you have a nice evening and a great start to the week. x

Worldwide Underground

2008-11-16T16:33:00.001Z

So this is what you can expect tomorrow night:

YO MAJESTY

THE GASLAMP KILLER

And last but never the least, one of my favorites...

DJ LEFTO
(You should check out his radio show and download it HERE!)

Last week was amazing, dont even know where to begin. And even though it was an honour to meet Moodymann, I must admit, that the best of the evening was:
1. The crowd - much love and respect to all of you who came down and showed your support.
2. Mr José James - Who we all know I love beyond words. A pleasure as always to meet him, and the nicest surprise of the evening! Can't wait to see you on Friday!

So yeah, get your asses down tomorrow night! Its a great line up, and a great way of starting the week.

Nice and Easy

2008-11-16T13:19:00.002Z

Good afternoon my lovelies. Just want to say that if anybody has tried to reach me this weekend, I apologise for having my phones turned off. I've been working so much these past weeks and been so tired and exhausted, (and been feeling a bit under the weather), that I just wanted to have a weekend for myself. I spent most of yesterday in bed. Had a bit of a "juice accident" in the morning (drinking 2 boxes = 2 litres of juice in one go, that resulted in that I threw up and had some of it squirt out of my nose... not very pleasant. And everything smelled of passion fruit) So I decided to stay in bed, listen to music, and just relax. Might seem like a waste of time, but I felt like I deserved it. I did a bit of hoovering, but that was the only "useful" thing I did. However, all in all, a very relaxing Saturday.

Today I woke up around 8ish, but had a very nice dream (for once!!) so I decided to go back to sleep. Woke up again around 11, still felt like my dream world was a better option than reality, so slept for another hour. Man, I dont think I have ever appreciated sleep as much as I have been doing lately haha. Oh well, Ive finally cleaned my room. Or, most of it. All left to do today is to hoover, dust and wash some clothes. Ive also put together another Sunday compilation. Not feeling 100% ready to share them with you quite yet, but dont worry, Im sure that time will come too. How was your weekend? x

Just so you know...

2008-11-15T03:46:00.001Z

I love you

More nightmares

2008-11-14T14:08:00.005Z

I woke up in complete panic 4.30am this morning. I has holding on to the edge of my bed so tight that I couldnt release my hands because they were in some weird "cramp mode", and my vains were massive, and looked like they were going to explode, very painful... Once again I had been having a bad dream, but the panic and fear it had spread inside of me can't be discribed with words, and it took me 2 hours to fall back to sleep.

I was in this house where we were having a party and my mom was there, and her best friend and her husband and her daughter. 3 of my exes were there as well and everybody kept on harrasing me, so I was getting drunk and trying to ignore everybody, running from room to room. My moms friends husband was hitting on my mom, and I was really upset, and then my exes were following me around asking why I'd left them. So I went outside for a walk, and when I got back I realised Id forgotten my house keys. But by that time the house was empty, so I went to sleep in the car... And thats when all the crazy stuff started to happen.

There was this big gang of some strange looking people that were stealing cars, and I woke up to the noise, and all of the sudden this person broke in and saw me in the back seat, and pulled out a gun and said he was going to kill me. Like that wasn't a big enough shock, some rival gang caught up with them and started shooting outside and this guy who'd broken into my car was screaming "get down get down!" The bullets were flying everywhere and shattered glass was everywhere and it was so loud that it made my ears hurt. Then this guy some how managed to start the car and drove off, and took me to this place where they tied me up and started asking me all these weird questions that I didnt understand. And when I didnt answer they said that they knew where I lived and that they would go back and kill my family if I didnt answer their questions. I started crying and begged them not to do so, and said I would do anything as long as they left my family alone.

So they set me up to do this job... and I went along with this guy who had broken into my car, and some how I managed to escape from him and got on the tube. When I got on I felt this huge feeling of relief but got scared because I couldnt go home since they knew where I lived, and the thought of never seeing my family again made me really sad. Then all of the sudden I could hear them coming down the train, so I started running and people were screaming and crying and I just kept running down the train. Then the speakers said that we had arrived to Hammersmith station (dont know why...) and I jumped off the train (or it was ment to be a tube, but it was a train)
and the trails were changing and I saw another train coming towards me
but I managed to escape it in the last second and ended up on the ground shaking and in complete shock.

After a while on the ground I tried to pull myself together, and saw this small shed next to the tracks. So I thought I could go inside there and hide for a while. I got up and went into this shed that turned out to be a room. I hadn't been there for a long time when all of the sudden the door locked itself and the lights went out, and it was like a scene from the book 1984, and these men in masks and jumpsuits came in
and they started spraying some weird liquid on me that was burning away my skin. And when the pain got too much to take I woke up, still thinking I was in that room since I couldnt release my hands and my veins looked like they were going to explode.

So I started crying, hysterically, grasping for air.

cold and tired

2008-11-13T07:18:00.002Z

Morning. I wanted to say something... but I forgot what it was haha. Been super busy (what a surprise) and I just remembered that I need to do some moderation before I leave to go to the Bebo meeting., so no time for proper update. Also, I have a strange little bit behind my ear, it itches. Very annoying. Anyways, this was rather random, Im sorry. Hope you have a nice day! x

Dont be stupid...

2008-11-10T07:14:00.005Z

Come down tonight to enjoy some top quality music! Detroit house/techno pioneer Kenny Dixon Junior aka Moodymann (the one and only ladies and gentlemen!) steps in to introduce the New Amerika, with surprise guest Rick Wilhite from the Detroit Beatdown making it two of the 3 Chairs at Worldwide Underground. Give me a shout if youre coming, Im on the door all night!

And so another week has passed...

2008-11-09T17:50:00.008Z

[had to take another song, but its still as good haha]
Song of the day. Because the music, and the beat, portraits the mood of this very chilled out Sunday. Im actually even in the mood to do all the washing and cleaning I have been putting off for so long. Oh, and I just found out that Neil has started to blog, YAAAY! Neil, my dearest darling, I want to come and see you soon, so please drop me a comment or an email, and tell me what weekend I could potentially come (it would be Friday evening/Saturday morning to Sunday evening type of thing). Oh and before I go: a special shout to Gav, for being such a good friend and for listening to my endless ramblings about silly things and life. If you actually do make a podcast for me, I might just die a little bit from excitement! But yes, thank you very much, words can not express my gratitude. x

To Mom

2008-11-08T20:04:00.002Z

Here I am. I hope youre happy! Love and miss you so much!

Shuggie

2008-11-08T18:55:00.003Z

2 things:

1. This is Shuggie Otis, and he shall be mine!
2. Gavin, I am so keeping you to that promise! Who needs babies when you can have Shuggie!

Slow as honey

2008-11-08T16:37:00.002Z

Havent done anything I set out to do today... Apart from finally picking up my contacts from the post office (long story). Instead Ive been reading blogs, and articles, catching up on some music, looking at pictures, and feeling rather content and happy. Ruth hasnt replied to my texts, so might have to pop over to Download This on my own. But no worries, Im listening to Shuggie, thinking of mini pigs (also a long story haha), and smiling.

Been thinking about how blessed I am. Of all the good times Ive had, great people I have met, and wonderful experiences I have shared. It feels a bit crazy looking back on things, realising all the shit Ive pulled myself out of, and still always remembering the good times first. I can, without a shadow of a doubt, say that 2008 has been one of the most life changing years of my life. Haha, Im getting a bit emotional now. Think I will go and have a shower and start getting ready.

I hope you enjoy your Saturday night! Much Love!

Come Rain Come Shine

2008-11-08T12:46:00.003Z

Hello my little darlings!

I know I havent given you the proper attention you deserve these past months and I am deeply sorry. Its just been a very hectic time for me, and I am so tired when I come home from work every day, and so sick of sitting by a computer, that I cant force myself to write proper updates. But nevertheless, I am here now, and thats what counts. So get into a comfortable position, I have a feeling this will be a long one...

I was walking to the bus stop after work yesterday. It was all dark outside and the weather was cold and crisp. And it brought back some memories from past autumns (winters?) Ive spent here in London. Its weird how fast time has passed by. I feel like I have struggled so much the past 6 months, and been so consumed by the present and just trying to make things work and survive through each day, that I havent really realised and taken in all the big changes that have been happening. Of course Ive been aware of them, but I don't think I really grasped them. Not until this week.

As you might know, I left Brownswood end of September to start at this new company called Airlock where I was meant to work on a project called Battlefront. It was all a bit scary at first, seeing as it was my first "real" job after Uni, and I just wanted to prove to people, especially myself, that I was cut out for the job and the "working life". I was really excited about the project because I thought it was a great idea, and I can honestly say that I truly put my heart and spirit into the work I had to carry out. But 6-7 weeks passed by, and even though my friends and family were saying that I was working too much, and took my job too seriously (however that is possible) I just didnt feel like I was doing enough. I dont know if its because I am a perfectionist, or a work-o-holic as some people have called me, but I always feel like there is more things I could do.

And I can get really frustrated with people who dont understand why I want to give 110-120% all the time. They are always pointing out that its not possible, because if you to do that you will eventually burn yourself out, and to certain point, I do agree with them. But what people don't seem to understand is that Im not giving 110% because of my employer, Im giving it because of myself. Not because I think that I can accomplish and achieve that every time, but so I can go home and feel, "hey you know what?... at least I tried and did my very best". And sure, I havent been feeling completely satisfied with what I have done. But I have still been aware of the fact that I have taken on so many new tasks and jobs that I werent meant to be doing in the first place, and actually carried them out with no big difficulties, that Ive been feeling rather proud of myself. And apparently my hard work and efforts was noticed by other people, without my knowledge.

I was only meant to stay on this project until the end of December, and to be honest, the thought of having to look for a new job, especially with the horrible economic situation that we are all in, well it was already starting to stress me out. But this week, I found out that I have impressed so many people since I started working on this project, including my bosses, that they want me to stay until the end of the project in April! And if that wasn't enough to put the biggest smile on my face, they also want me to stay with the company and work on future projects! So there you have it people, hard work does pay off, at least in this case. And I am absolutely thrilled and excited beyond reasoning!

My dearest Tom!

2008-11-07T13:00:00.002Z

Visit Tom's website here to support his campaign on Random Acts Of Kindness!

YES WE CAN!

2008-11-05T06:39:00.006Z

Im crying... Im crying out of joy. I never ever thought I would live to see this day. The United States of America have elected their first black president. Mr Barack Obama. I dont even know where to begin. I am speechless. I might not agree with all his policies, but I do agree with his message of change. But it is not just America who needs a change, this whole world needs a change. And Obama being elected as the president proves that we, as people, have the power to change society if we are determined and really want to. I hope from the bottom of my heart that Obama will have the strength to change that country, because that might encourage the rest of us to dare hoping and persuing our dreams, dare to change the world we live in, and actually try harder to make it a better world for all of us. So Congratulations America! You have in my eyes, for the first time since I've been alive, showed me why you are a great nation, and a country where everything is possible.

Nightmares

2008-11-03T01:12:00.000Z

Just woke up crying after being chased by this for the past 2 hours.

bla bla bla

2008-11-02T22:49:00.002Z

I havent been in the mood to blog. Even though Ive been having plenty of things to write about. But no. It just doesnt feel "right". Instead Im going to have an early night (yet again), hope that this tummy pain disappears by tomorrow, and maybe even have a good nights sleep for once. (Ive been having nightmares again and waking up with a tense body, cramps in my hands etc) I hope your weekend was enjoyable! x

To my dear friend Cata

2008-10-31T13:51:00.000Z

DONT VOTE!

2008-10-30T10:18:00.000Z

Meeh

2008-10-28T02:21:00.001Z

Need.a.cuddle.
NOOOW!

Save me, somebody save me...

2008-10-27T19:42:00.002Z

Put my foot through the front door 28 minutes ago. Felt like crashing into bed. Stupid bus took for ever. Decided to stop halfway through its route. Out in the freezing cold. Million people trying to get on the next one. Jumped off 4 stops too early. Almost ran home. Got to my bus stop before my bus (In your face London Transport!) Threw together some dinner in ten minutes, ate it in less than five, stomach hurts now but have no time for pain.

Gav - You are a star! Might not say it often enough, but you are! And I appreciate and value your advices (and your amazing taste in music) a lot.

Malcoolm - When did you move to Liverpool??

Right, off to work... (again)
Come down to Bar Rumba if youre in London, should be a good night. Im on the door, you can get in for £3.

PLEASE watch this video

2008-10-27T10:43:00.003Z

These are some of the teenagers I work with and try to help them with their individual campaigns. Watch the video, visit the Battlefront Website, and get involved if you can! Its for a good cause and Im going to continue to "pimp it out!" Hope you've had a nice weekend! Oh, and Neil, you made my day with that comment. I miss you so much! x

People are strange when youre a stranger

2008-10-23T10:00:00.003+01:00

Hello! Thought I would do a quick update while Im waiting to head off to my editorial meeting. Wanted to write a long post last night, but I was too tired. And this morning I simply didn't have the time. But I am here now and I guess thats what counts.

Its been a rather strange week. Ive been pending between really happy and extremely sad. Was really excited and happy yesterday morning. I went along to one of our campaigners (AIMEE) stunt. The sun was shining, her friends turned up. Zander and Tom were there as well, so I managed to have a little chat with them and hopefully convinced this random girl that joined us to design Tom's superhero outfit for his stunt next week. Basically, everything was going good and I was happy. And then I got back to the office and my mood completely changed. The team left for our monthly steering meeting, and I was sitting in the office trying to get on with my work and at the same time trying not to burst out in tears. It was a very weird feeling.

I dont know whats going on with me... I care about my job so much, but no matter how much I work, I dont seem to think its enough. Me and Fredrik had a discussion about it last night. Although I dont really think he gets me, or at least the way Im thinking and feeling about the whole situation. I guess its because we have a different point of view. Im finding it more and more difficult to explain how I am feeling about things lately. Its like Im more drawn back than before, but not intensionally.

Hm, this became a rather weird and scattered entry. Sorry about that. There is just A LOT of things going on in my head at the moment. And Im usually too tired to write everything down here when I get the chance. So that results in me writing a bit confusing stuff. Hopefully you can somewhat follow what I mean...

Will try and make things clearer when I get home tonight. Please comment if you get the chance. I need all the encouragement I can get at the moment. Much love to all of you and have a nice day!

The Healer

2008-10-21T23:00:00.002+01:00

Had a very stressful day. Nothing really went as planned. I overslept... but in the most horrible way possible. Woke up at 6am after having slept 3 hours, went to have my coffee and breakfast in the living room, fell asleep on the couch (!), woke up 9.40am (which is officially 10 minutes after Im meant to be starting work) because the sun was shining on my face. And the rest of the day kind of followed that stressed and hectic pattern. Been sitting by my computer since I got home trying to sort out some stuff for tomorrows steering/marketing meeting. But since I have a PC and use a Mac at work, for some reason the excel files Ive sent to myself seem to be corrupted or in some sort of different format. I have a headache like something Ive never experienced before, and I feel like smashing my laptop against the wall.

So I have decided to focus my energy on something relaxing for a little while, like my music. I have gained a new "music buddy" at work, so Im making him something that hopefully will put a smile on his face. Its surely putting a smile on my face.

Oh god... Need. Sleep. Now. Please...?

Ok, back to work! Oh, and I dont remember if I answered to your message, but, I LOVE YOU TOO ANNA!